


I Will Surely Face the Music

by Itzysiw



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, itzy - Freeform, ryujinxlia, ryujisu - Freeform, ryujisu angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itzysiw/pseuds/Itzysiw
Summary: She just missed her... that’s it... that’s why.
Relationships: Choi Jisu | Lia/Shin Ryujin, RyuJisu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	I Will Surely Face the Music

**Author's Note:**

> A one-shot continuation of Face the Music
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM AND ACCIDENT
> 
> Link for the first part: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24216601

Beige dull walls, Lia stared while breathing in every air she can grasp. She looked at the mirror in front of her, mascara all smudged on her mournful eyes. Looking down on her hands, tight grip on an orange container.

_A piece of Asenapine will not hurt right?... right?_

She tried to scream yet not a single noise came out, instead an airy yelp. Tears kept on falling, thinking when this will stop. She held on the smeared porcelain sink to prevent herself from falling.

_But she’ll leave me if ever I will take one…_

She soon dropped the container, as if it is detrimental. A faint thud on the floor joining her pries. She looked back up again, to see Ryujin standing there, behind her, disappointment smothered all over her face.

“Take your medicine Lia.”, Ryujin snapped, a harsh gruffness added to her tone. “I told you! I can’t!”, she pressed and looked back, only to glimpse at a blank wall.

_She’s not there anymore… again._

Unforgivably frigid, she embraced herself, moments feeling much longer than she remembered, but that is likely because of the reason that she does not have her on her side anymore.

A distant knock radiated to her ears. She jolted from where she’s standing to see who’s behind the door. She fixed her hair, wiped the visible stains of tears on her face, composure, basically anything that shows any sign of misery and desolation. She took in another chilly breath and puts on another smile before finally twisting the brumal doorknob.

“Hey.”, Yeji, her best friend, greeted her with a cheeky smile. She welcomed herself inside, “I brought you food.”. She accepted the plastic bag that is brimmed with lunch boxes. Letting her remove her jacket but instantly putting it back, “It’s chilly here.”, she remarked. Lia put the plastic down to frantically go turn the heater on, “Just wanted to cover myself up with sheets this morning”, she said, giving a reason to the odd coldness that was unfolding both of them.

“Let’s go eat!”, Yeji suggested, seeing her closest friend get slenderer than before. Not waiting for a response, she walked towards the house’ dining room. She then noticed a meal for two that is set down on the tiny circular wooden table. She sighed in defeat, turning on her back, “Lia, you might want to explain what’s on your dining table.”.

This was new to Yeji, she would usually barge into Lia talking to no one, laughing alone, and smiling at the empty space beside her white slick piano, but not to this extent. She could not help but softly weep at the thought that Lia has really lost her soundness of mind. Despite the haziness of her eyes, she saw Lia walking in with her head toward a lower position. “I just miss her Yeji.”, she defended, justifying her actions.

Yeji stepped forward and embraced her friend, tight enough to make the latter aware of the fact that she cares for her. “Lia, you did not take your medicines again. How many days have you skipped?”, she questioned, still holding on to her lanky body. The girl kept quiet, instead reciprocated with a tighter hold. “Lia, please.”, she maintained.

There was a long excruciating silence before Lia answered her interrogative question. “Five days? A week? I don’t even know.”, she whispered, shakiness evident. Yeji put an end to the hug, “Lia, we are trying so hard to help you, yet you do this.”.

“It has been 5 months, Lia. I know it is tough, but you need to help yourself.”, Yeji’s voice is indignant. “Therapy itself won’t aid the ache of your heart.”, she continued, smiting the truth yet not hitting the right note.

“I don’t think you realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out from a dark place mentally.”, the harsh tone on Lia’s voice stung, anger building up inside her. She lets out an exasperated sigh, “I know I need to try, but the thing is, I don’t want to try.”, she lamented, feeling her heart throb, “It hurts to try.”.

“Let’s eat, the food might get cold.”, Lia proposed and took a step to go sit on one of the chairs. Slumping her shoulders, Yeji joined her friend. The least she can do right now is leave her alone like this. “This is so good, how’s you and Chaeryeong?”, she genuinely asked while putting a spoonful of soup in her mouth, a hum signified her satisfaction. “She’s good, we’re good.”, she replied, joining her on eating the warm soup.

“That’s it?”, Lia inquired, eyes beaming with inquisitiveness. Yeji did not respond for a while. Truth be told, she is quite scared how her anchor has turned into, wondering if she will ever go back to someone she once knew. “We are doing fine. Actually, Chaeryeong just got promoted on her work.”, Lia smiled to what she shared, “That’s good to hear, say my good luck to her will you?”.

“Yeah sure.”

They continued eating in silence, considering it is better for the fact that they won’t be give utterance to whatever’s on their mind that might strike some chords. “By the way, what brought you here?”, Lia asked, wiping off left remnants of the dish from her small unsmiling mouth.

Yeji drank her water and honestly responded, “I came here to check up on you, to see how you’re doing.”. Lia laughed as she puts her hands together. “You don’t have to come monitor me, Yeji.”, she sighed. Yeji fixed her gaze on Lia, who’s walking with the used dishes on her hands. “I can do it someday. You know, go back to normal, as you guys say it.”, Lia retorted trudging back to where Yeji is.

“Someday I’ll stop staying up all night, screaming at the world, and maybe holding on to her too tight.”, she smiled with a glint of hope. “But we’re not quite certain what might happen, and guess what? I don’t think today’s the right time for me to do those things.”, she finished, smiling to mask up the misery. Yeji dismissingly sighed. “Take your time.”, she commented while caressing her lean shoulders with her thumb, implying she will always be there by her side.

After a while passed, Yeji bid goodbye to her best friend, “I need to go. Take care, not for me but for your own self, okay?”, she insisted, walking towards the door, and was soon followed by Lia. “Sure, goodbye.”, Lia then closed her door.

She could not deny the fact that she is indeed a mess, that everything is not alright. She stared at her own jagged feet, waiting for the tears to jerk out from her eyes again.

Slowly sliding down, the black-and-blue marks on her skin reminded her of everything, how Ryujin escaped life like a runaway train. She bit her lower lip to help her cease her cries until it bled. The metallic taste was the final piece to make her put a name to what have actually happened.

Hear ears rang, the sound of glass breaking, tires screeching, variety of materials hitting the pavement, and lastly, Ryujin’s breathy yelp.

_“H-help… I think I a-am not g-going to make it.”, she coughed yet tries to communicate with her girlfriend who’s also struggling. “Don’t say that, baby. We’re going to make i—”_

_“Never forget, I lo-ve y-ou.”,_

“Don’t leave me… please”. Lia pried to what seemed to be another horrifying trek down to the worst part of her memory lane. She balled her eyes out until she cannot anymore.

“Baby, why did you have to leave me?”, she asked, still hoping for answers but could not hear any.

She took all her courage to stand up from the cold dusty floor and walked inside the bathroom. She looked at herself on the mirror and saw how beaten she is. Dark circles under her eyes that never left when she lost her.

She puts her gaze below her to see the orange container that she was holding before Yeji came. She grabbed it, contemplating.

_A piece of Asenapine will not hurt._

She opened the tight lidded bottle to reveal ten-milligram white tablets. She took one and let it rest on her palm, warm tears still pouring down her lacrimal.

_A dozen pieces of Asenapine also will not hurt._

She subtly walked towards her piano and sat, “Don’t worry Ryujin, I will surely face the music.”, she softly uttered, putting pieces of the white bitter medicine on her bloody mouth. Sad smile plastered on her beautiful face. Playing the heavenly instrument and the only thing she have to do is to stand by for the music to die.

_Wait for me Ryujin_

_I’ll be with you again._

_I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> I do not promote anything about self harm.
> 
> Twitter: @itzysiw


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